Perfect Girl Realization
by DarkShadowsFalling
Summary: Sunako Nakahara has been hurt in the past. But her heart seems to be ready to move forward and she's not sure what to do. Will fate play a hand in making her fess up to loving someone again? MxF No lemon. They're not ready for a lemon. A little OOC.


Perfect Girl Realization

*A Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge/Wallflower fan fiction. All characters herein belong to Tomoko Hayakawa. I sadly do not own them, but I swear Sunako could be my sister! Don't sue*

Omniscient POV

"Sunako-chan didn't come to school today?"

Noi Kasahara couldn't believe that her best friend (by her choice, not Sunako's) was not at school. She hardly ever missed class and it seemed strange, especially as it was close to Halloween and Sunako Nakahara never, ever missed the opportunity to scare her fellow students.

"Yeah. We couldn't get her out of her room this morning," replied Yukinojo Toyama, twisting a strand of his blond-ish hair in a worried manner.

"We had to eat convenience store bento for breakfast! That wench is gonna pay for it!" exclaimed Kyohei Takano angrily, clenching his fist.

Noi smacked him. "How can you think of only your stomach at a time like this?! She could really be sick, Kyohei-kun!"

"Yeah, I'm worried about her. She doesn't stay home often," said Takenaga Oda, wrapping an arm around Noi's waist, drawing her close.

"You're right, she doesn't. But we can't do anything about it. It's hard to get her out of bed if she doesn't want to budge herself," mused Ranmaru Morii, the playboy of the group.

"She's just being lazy. She'll be fine after a dose of her horror movies," groused Kyohei.

"You just want her to be your maid like always," Noi growled. It irritated her when Kyohei acted like he really didn't care about Sunako.

"Tch! Listen, she's just pretending. We've all agreed that she doesn't stay home often. So there must be some reason she wants to stay home. Maybe there's a Friday the 13th marathon on TV or some other horror movie series she likes. I wouldn't get too worried about it." Kyohei felt he understood Sunako better than the rest of them and he really didn't want to put up with Noi's temper when the morning's bento was making him feel a little ill. Nothing beat Nakahara's cooking and he missed it.

Noi sighed. "Maybe you're right…But I think I'll drop by this afternoon after school anyway and check on her."

Takenaga nodded. "I think that's a good idea."

With that settled, the five of them made their way to their classes, Kyohei's stomach grumbling in protest to breakfast.

** *

Sunako's POV

I can't stand this feeling. I really can't. It's making me sick to the stomach and I swear I'm gonna vomit again if I have to think about it.

I stayed home from school today over this feeling. I lost sleep over it last night. I never thought I'd feel it again. Ever. I'd hoped I'd never feel it again, but it seems that fate hates me.

Love.

That damned feeling that caused me to nearly lose my sanity the first time. That feeling that made me work so hard to be someone I wasn't, only to have my heart crushed.

"I hate ugly girls." That sentence still rings in my head. I had worked so hard to look good, but that boy had called me ugly. And I lost my femininity due to it.

I live with Japan's four hottest boys and the girl who calls me her best friend is the hottest girl in Japan. I know that. I still don't understand why they accept me or why they try so hard to get me to come out of my shell.

I used to know why the boys did it. My auntie had promised them free rent if they could turn me into a lady. And so when I moved in, they were doing their damndest to get me to be a girl like they knew. They soon learned it wouldn't be that easy.

But now, I'm not sure if they even really think about it anymore. They have all defended who I am and have told me to just be myself. That's the opposite of what my auntie has been trying to get them to do.

They seem to like me for who I am, even if I can be terrifying at times. Even Yuki, who used to cry whenever I came into a room, loves to spend time with me. He's been so sweet to me, too, standing up for me and smiling at me when I need that smile.

The thing is, I don't know what I'd do without all five of them now. They've become my friends and family and I care about them. But one of them…that one particular dazzling creature…he's become more dear to me than the rest.

I realized it two days ago, I guess. I was watching him wolf down the fried shrimp I'd made for him especially and he looked up at me and smiled. He told me it was the best I'd ever made and that I was beautiful and wonderful for doing it. That compliment is rare from him.

I inwardly blushed and had to run to my room before my geyser nosebleed started. I then cussed myself out for an hour. But as I sat thinking about him and everything we've been through together, I realized that I can't function without him.

I wake up in the mornings and make breakfast for him. I make lunches and I work hard to make sure all of them have what they love. I have to work harder for this dazzling creature, but it's worth it to me when he tells me how good it was later. I make dinner and think on it all day so that we have something that he can eat and something they'll like too.

I realize it sounds like I just cook for him. But really, if it wasn't for having to do all that, I'd probably just sit in my room and rot away. He gives me a purpose. And it's not like he doesn't give back to me in some ways.

He can make me feel special and comfortable by talking to me and telling me that I should just be me. He really does accept me for who I am and he even enjoys it. We have a lot in common and he never makes me feel like a damsel who needs a brave, strong prince. He knows I can take care of myself and gives me that opportunity. But he's always there when I can't help myself anymore. He becomes the strength I need to keep going.

By now, I'm sure you know which creature I'm talking about. Kyohei Takano. You've even witnessed what I've talked about.

In that moment when I realized how much I need him, I think my brain broke. I kept thinking about Noi telling us how perfect we are together and how many times the other guys throw him at me or make him do things with me. Even when he's forced out with me, we end up having a good time. We end up laughing and just enjoying being together.

And my heart throbbed when I thought of him. I remembered that feeling and it scared the hell out of me. That feeling of need and desire made me feel sick. I hadn't wanted to feel that ever again.

I tried to go to school the next day and let everything just be normal. But I couldn't stop thinking about my revelations and I just felt sicker through the day. I tried hiding in the science room amongst the jars of preserved organs, but that did nothing to soothe me. I saw a preserved heart and it made my stomach flip painfully.

Last night, I had a dream. I was alone in a black room. The only light came from a small pumpkin candle. I remember those candles. They helped Kyohei and I have a decent Halloween when we were living together and our power was cut off. I looked at the candle and it spoke to me.

"He's gone, Sunako. He's gone because you were too stupid and dense to tell him how you feel. He felt the same, Sunako. He loved you and wanted to be with you. But you wasted time and now he wants nothing to do with you. He moved on."

"No, no! That can't be right! He doesn't love me! He just loves my cooking! You don't know him like I do!" I cried back, trying to ignore the hollowness in my own heart at the thought of him being gone.

"Do you? Do you really know him? Yes, he loves your cooking. But how can you honestly say that you know his heart? Did you ever really speak to him?" the candle asked.

I found myself unable to answer. It's true that I haven't really had a proper conversation with him. I find talking to other people uncomfortable. But why does it bother me to talk to him? He and I are so much alike and he smiles when I do talk to him. I couldn't answer that question.

"He's gone, Sunako. You'll be alone for the rest of your life. Your dolls and movies can't fill the gap in your heart. If only you had been smart…If only you had told him…"

The candle went out and I was in total blackness. For the first time in three and a half years, the dark scared me and I screamed.

I woke up screaming, my hands clutching my hair. It took me several minutes to calm down and I breathed hard. Suddenly I felt sick to my stomach and made a run to the bathroom where I promptly vomited in the toilet.

I felt so sick afterwards. I spent three hours awake until they woke up. I told them I couldn't go to school and backed away into my black room.

After they left, I opened the curtains. The blackness is terrifying me. I feel completely alone and I don't like it now.

I've been sitting for hours, trying to figure out what to do. I can't help but think that my dream was a premonition. I've been known to have them and I don't particularly like this one.

A house…no, a world without Kyohei in it just doesn't seem worth living in. Would he really leave because I haven't said anything to him? Do my own feelings matter that much? I can't imagine it. I just can't.

I look at the clock and see that it's 3:05pm. They'll be home soon. I'm no closer to an answer now than I was at 4:30 this morning. My stomach has settled, but I feel that this is only a temporary thing.

I lay back on my bed and bite at my fingernails. It's a nervous habit I gave up when I changed myself. But it seems that this situation has brought it out in me. As I stare up at the ceiling, I can only think one sentence over and over: what in the hell should I do?

** *

Omniscient POV

Takenaga opened the door to the house and the small mob traipsed into the living room. It didn't look like Sunako had been out of her room at all. Things that had been strewn about that morning were still strewn all over the place.

Noi looked toward the stairs. "She may really be sick. She didn't even come down to get anything to eat or drink. If she were watching movies, she'd want snacks, right?"

"That's our Sunako-chan, for sure," replied Ranmaru, feeling a twist of worry in his own stomach. The girl was scary, but she was still a girl and he loved all females. She was a little more special than most, though, and it worried him that she hadn't left her room at all.

Even Kyohei looked uncomfortable. "Maybe she just ignored everything…You know, grabbed some soda and snacks and just went upstairs without cleaning up…"

Yuki gave Kyohei a very dark look. "You know better than that, Kyohei. If she sees a mess, she cleans it up. She hasn't come down all day."

Noi set her jaw. "I'm going to check on her. You guys get things tidied up, okay? If she is sick, we don't want her to come down to a mess like last time…"

The four boys shuddered. They remembered the last time, when Sunako had been sick for a while. It had gotten so bad that they hadn't had any clean clothes for school and couldn't cook in the kitchen or take a bath. It couldn't get that bad! It just couldn't!

Takenaga nodded. "We've got it down here."

Noi smiled and hurried up the stairs as the phone rang. Kyohei quickly answered it.

"Moshi moshi?"

He was silent for a moment and the other boys watched him. He finally looked up after a moment or two.

"Sorry, guys. I have to take this one. Start cleaning without me. I'll be in to help soon."

His voice was so serious that they nodded and hurried away to give him some privacy. Kyohei didn't often talk like that.

It didn't settle right with any of them.

** *

Sunako's POV

I can hear footsteps coming up the stairs. I can tell it's none of the boys. The steps are too light. It has to be Noi.

She's really the last person I want to see at the moment. Or at least the second to last. The last person I want to see is Kyohei.

A knock comes at my door and then I hear her voice. "Sunako-chan? Are you okay?"

At first, I think about not saying anything, letting her think I'm asleep. But I know for some reason that I have to answer her.

"Yeah…I'm okay, Noi-chan. You can come in if you want."

She opens my door and blinks at the sunlight coming into my room. I inwardly curse. I forgot to close the curtains.

"Sunako-chan…Why do you have your curtains open? You don't like the light…"

I look away, trying to keep her from looking into my amethyst eyes. "I just felt like having them open today. I haven't felt good."

"I can tell that." She comes over to my bed and sits next to me. "What's wrong? Are you sick?"

I don't want to answer. I really don't. But before I can stop myself, I'm pouring my soul, heart, and mind out to Noi, telling her everything about what I've been thinking to the dream I had last night.

When I get done, I feel relieved. Noi is staring at me with her mouth slightly open. I think I may have just said more to her in the past five minutes than in the year and a half I've known her.

"You mean…you know for sure that you love Kyohei?"

I close my eyes as I nod. I don't want to see the look of joy on her face. I've been protesting for so long against this very subject that I can't bear to see it.

I hear a small squeal and find myself being hugged tightly. "Oh, Sunako-chan! I'm so glad! You and Kyohei are so good for each other!"

I sigh and nod and then look at her. "You don't think he'd leave, do you? You don't think he'd get tired of waiting…?"

Noi shakes her head. "I think he'd wait for you. You're the one girl who accepts him for who he is and doesn't think of him as some kind of sex god. You know him and you still love him. I think he'd wait."

I feel relieved at her words. She's right, of course. All other girls tend to throw themselves at him. They don't know him or what he likes. They know nothing about him. But I do and I care. I think he would wait.

I feel better now and feel silly that I worried so much. My stomach grumbles in hunger and I decide I'd better go down and find something to eat. Or make dinner. Maybe we'd have an early dinner tonight. That sounds good to me.

I stand and smile at Noi. "Thanks for listening. I haven't had anyone just to talk to like that in a very long time."

She smiles back and hugs me again. "You're my best friend, Sunako-chan. I'm glad to do it."

We go down the stairs and find the boys finishing up tidying. I decide I don't want to know how bad it was after all the clatter I heard them make this morning and just thank them for cleaning up.

I look around and don't see Kyohei. I look to Yuki. "Where's the dazzling creature?"

"Oh, Kyohei? He's in the other room. He's been talking to someone on the phone for a while," he replies.

I find that odd. Kyohei doesn't talk to anyone other than us, usually. But I can't really make anything of it. His mother had been calling a little more since we'd been there previously and it could be her.

I nod and walk towards the kitchen. Ranmaru blocks the door for a moment.

"Are you sure you should be cooking, Sunako-chan? You said you hadn't felt well."

I find his concern sweet and he's looking at me with kind, worried eyes. I lightly touch his arm and smile a bit. "I'm all right, Ranmaru-kun. I'm going to go ahead and make dinner for everyone, so just relax."

Ranmaru is taken aback by the gentle words and the touch. I don't touch them usually. But I feel really happy for some reason and it's not bothering me to show them kindness. He leans close and kisses my cheek.

"Okay. If you need anything, call one of us, okay?"

I nod and shimmy past him into my second sanctuary. I love the kitchen. I love to cook and make food that my motley crew likes. For me, it's a little bit of heaven.

I spend time planning and checking ingredients. I decide that I'm going to make a huge meal and make shrimp for my favorite dazzling creature. I feel like celebrating. I know I really haven't made any major breakthroughs about everything that has made me who I am, but I feel like I've taken a step by admitting that I can love again.

It takes me an hour to get everything cooked and plated up. When I take the first dishes out, I still don't see Kyohei anywhere. I place the food on the table and tell the others to go ahead and eat while I get the second load.

It takes me a few minutes to get everything set and ready to carry out. I open the door and hear Kyohei talking to the others.

"…I'm going to be moving out. I'm going to America and finishing high school there. There's nothing to tie me here."

I feel my heart stop and something shatter in my soul. I drop the tray I'm carrying and it crashes to the ground, dishes shattering and food spilling onto the carpeting.

Everyone is immediately at my side.

"What's wrong, Sunako-chan?!"  
"Are you feeling ill again?!"  
"Your skin is cold!"

But I'm staring at the one person who didn't jump up. He's staring back, not knowing why I had dropped everything.

"There's nothing to tie me here…nothing to tie me here…nothing to tie me…" The words are echoing around my brain like a bad record. The words cut into my heart.

I finally manage to get the others to be shut up by pulling slightly away, towards Kyohei. My heart is hammering in my chest and I have a hard lump in my throat.

"Are…Are you really leaving?" I ask, my voice quiet and shaky. "Are you really leaving us for…for good?"

He takes it the way I feared he would. He thinks I'm happy about it. He kicks back in his chair and throws his arms behind his head. "Yeah, I'm really leaving. You don't have to be tortured by my brilliance anymore, Sunako Nakahara. You're free."

I feel my heart break like it did when that boy had told me I was ugly. But this time…this time it was because I was losing the person I loved.

His face takes on an alarmed look as he stares at me again. He jumps up and hurries around the table. "Nakahara?!"

I don't understand why he's doing this. Not until Noi presses a napkin into my hand do I realize that I'm crying. Tears are running down my cheeks and I can't stop them.

I pull back when he reaches out for me. There's a roaring in my ears. I choke out, "Nothing to tie you here? Nothing at all? Have you been telling the truth all this time? Do you really not care about me at all, Kyohei?!"

He's shocked by the question. He flounders and finally manages out. "I do care about you, Nakahara! But you never showed the slightest interest in me! You've made me think that you hate me!"

Oh, Kami…He's right. It's all my fault. I never showed him anything like what I feel…I've always made him feel worthless in my eyes.

I drop to my knees and cover my face with my hands. A wail comes from my throat and I sob.

"Please don't leave me! Please! Kyohei, I need you here! I need you in my life! I can't function without you! I can't get up each day without you!"

I reach out blindly, expecting to find nothing. But he's suddenly there and I latch onto him. I hold onto his shirt and sob into his chest. I know he's shocked and confused, but he wraps his arms around me and holds me tightly.

I can't talk at the moment. I'm crying so hard that I can't make an intelligible sound. I cling to him and just cry and cry.

The others are standing around, just as surprised as Kyohei. Well, except for Noi. She just regards the scene with a somber expression. After all, only she knows what's in my heart.

I cry until there's nothing left. I cry until no more tears come. I'm exhausted, but I know I have to tell him exactly what I feel. If I'm going to keep him with me, I need to tell him.

I pull back, wiping the tear tracks from my cheeks. I look up at him, into his warm brown eyes and I hold his arms tightly in my hands.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry that I never showed you the care I feel. I've cared about you for a long time. I care about all of you, but I still treated you badly…I only realized a couple of days ago what I feel for you, Kyohei. I love you. I love you and I can't live without you here! I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm not some simpering girl who will want to be snuggled every time I turn around or kissed out of the blue. But I love you…And I want a chance to see what happens! Please don't leave…If you want something to tie you here, then let me tie you! If you leave me, I'll never recover…I'll never get over it! I've had my heart broken before…But there was never the depth of love for him that I feel for you! I really will die without you…Please stay with me!"

I know these words are true. I know it as well as I know myself. If he leaves, I'll lose my reason for being. My raison d'être.

He looks down into my eyes and says nothing for what seems like an eternity. I think maybe I waited too long. Maybe my words mean nothing to him.

And then he smiles. He hugs me close to him and whispers in my ear, "Silly girl. How could I leave after that? I love you too. And I know you're not a simpering girl like the others. I wouldn't love you if you were."

My heart thrills as he tells me he loves me. I've never felt THAT before…It feels so nice.

"So you won't leave?" I sniffle out.

"I won't leave. I'll call them back and tell them to forget it."

I hug him tightly and bury my face in his neck. He holds onto me.

I hear sniffling and suddenly remember that we have an audience. I turn bright red as I realize that Noi is crying in joy and the others are smirking knowingly.

My automatic reactions kick in and I push him back, playfully punching him in the shoulder. "How long are ya gonna hold me like that?! Jeez! I'm fine now!"

He blinks and then smirks. "Yeah, you're perfect to me."

I turn redder and flee to the kitchen. As I stand against the counter, trying to return to normal color, I smile. He'd said I was perfect to him. And I know he meant it.

I'm not sure how long it will take me to forget everything that happened with that jerk from before. But I have been on the road to recovery for a long time. I think I will make it with Kyohei beside me and my friends behind me. All I need is time and love. And I'm surrounded by an ample amount of both.

The End

A/N: I am so sorry if she really seems OOC. I wrote this really late at night and I tend to go OOC when I write late. But I'm generally happy with this story and I hope that you have enjoyed reading it. Arigatou gozaimasu! Ja ne!


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